Hyundai sold an Excel model for years and Toyota has the Access cab Tacoma truck,

It is clear to me that the automotive industry is missing these particular models, which would probably be giant sellers:

BMW PowerPoint - A 4 door sedan marketed to product managers, vice presidents and go-get-’em sales people.

Cadillac Word - An oversized version of the Escalade SUV. Only available in black with gold trim, dropped-down at the factory, with limo-tint windows as a standard feature.

After 17 years in this industry, you start to notice some patterns. For me at least, there is a definite pattern to employment in technology. I first observed this back in the dot-com years, when the pattern may have been more noticable, or perhaps when I was simply in the right place to notice. The pattern, in a nutshell:

1. Start new, exciting job.
2. Spent lots of time and energy working on and building cool, interesting, new things.
3. Once the thing is built, show it off and put it through its paces. Receive acclaim.
4. Maintain the thing.
5. Become dangerously bored or distracted.

The problem in this pattern isn’t necessarily #5, as you might think. It’s #4 that’s the real bitch, and which leads to #5. This problem is something I’ve seen time and again. It accounts for the massive amounts of startups in Silicon Valley, because under the right circumstances you can go through all five phases of the pattern in a year.

People in my field, generally speaking, love a challenge. We love to build new things, prove new theorems, take new ideas and make them a reality. Part of that is the actual building, thinking, idea wanking, whatever you want to call it. The other part of it is sheer pride in the new shiny thing we’ve just built. Building things is very cool. Being able to show off the fruits of your labor is also very cool.

The problem is, after you’ve got the thing built, someone has to keep it running. Frequently, that turns out to be the job of the designer, builder, programmer or admin. This is a problem, because you have now taken someone who really excels in taking raw ideas and turning them into something, and are now taking that raw ability and using it to keep the floors clean and the windows shiny. Is there a solution for this?

There can be, if the employer is of a size that the employee can be put into another area where they can start the process over again. More likely, however, is that the employee, now dangerously bored and distracted, will find another shiny object at another employer to work on; or she will go off and start her own company with the new idea in her head.

When you combine #4 in the list above with other types of work distractions: budget issues, company consolidation, bad management, or other issues, you then have a real problem because the employee is now maintaining something they built, at a company they don’t believe in.  Motivation now becomes a real issue, and #5, dangerously bored or distracted employees, follows quickly.

• Blog software (MT to WordPress)
• Blog host (my ISP, to a server that Rob kindly runs
• Writing status (I haven’t written a damn thing since March)
• Published authorship (My second book went on sale)
• and the biggie…
• Parental status

Yes.  We’re expecting.  It’s a little girl, due in early September.  Mom is doing very well, and all indications are that the baby is healthy and happy.

Needless to say, we’re very excited.  This is our first, and it took us quite a while.  For many years we  felt too immature, or too poor, or too selfish, or too stubborn, to even bother trying to have children.  Then, once all that was out of the way, conception turned out to take a while since we had waited past what the "optimum" time might be.

I have no plans to turn this into a parenting blog.  There are many of those out there already, from the practical to the impolite.  I don’t feel the need to dispense advice, or share diaper stories. 

However, I can’t pretend that this isn’t a huge change for the wife and I.  Aside from our pets, it’s just been us for almost 10 years now.  We’re going to have to get used to caring for another person, having another person be the biggest priority, and dealing with the issues that brings up, aside from all the other parenting issues.

I won’t deny that I’m nervous.  Despites assurances from family and friends that "you’ll be a great dad", how on earth do they know?  I could turn out to be the worst one ever.  Still, I have more information accessible to me than previous generations, which is a plus.  Everything you find on Google is true, right?

Now, am I forgetting something? The Ottoman or Turkish Empire was founded in the 13th century and, I believe, dismantled after World War I. A quick search of Wikipedia confirms this. According to this article the Ottoman Empire ceased to exist in 1922. How is it possible that anyone would at this point, in 2006, be able to receive income from Ottoman Turkish Empire Settlement Payments?

He was actively encouraged to join the boy scouts, and found there a profound love of nature and the outdoors. Still not social by nature, he spent many nights away from the campfire and the other scouts, listening to the wildlife, the forest or even the grass. Longer backpacking trips were what he really enjoyed, because once a base camp was established he could wander by himself all day through the trees. There were a few solitary times, alone there in the high forest, when he was able to once again experience the sense of wonder he had felt before. One other life-altering event occurred shortly after he first joined the local scout troop. The assistant scoutmaster was a stocky bearded fellow named Bert Silva, and he was also the advisor for the Electronics merit badge. Armed with a soldering iron, he and Mr. Silva spent many late nights and weekends assembling and disassembling a wide variety of items from transistor radios to televisions.

It was not until his last year in high school that the thought of revisiting “his” redwood grove became more than a dream. It was mid-April and like most seniors he could not wait to get out of school and get on with life. Perhaps his reasons were different than many of his classmates. He never was able to easily relate to others his age, and even by age seventeen he only had a few close friends. For him, the cliques in school were a daily painful reminder of his social inabilities. He was also very far ahead of other students academically, and this only worsened his isolation.

During his sophomore year he had noticed there were two other boys in his chemistry class that knew the material almost as well as he did. Over time all three of them migrated to the back of the class where they formed a group and began working ahead of the class in the textbook and experiments in the lab. This was at a time when science was very popular. The cold war was on and so was the race to the moon. Their chemistry teacher encouraged them as much as he could.

Aaron Goldman was probably the most obvious misfit in the school. The son of an Air Force major and a psychiatrist, he had been moved around nearly every year until he was 14. His Jewish parents expected a great deal from him, being their eldest. He was the only boy in school who wore a dress shirt and tie every day.

Jim Sorenson was a really bright kid from a broken home. His father turned up only occasionally when he needed money to drink, and his mother was in and out of the hospital with various neuroses. Jim raised his younger brother Clark with practically no help or input from either parent.

One day in late April during a lunch break, the topic of summer came up. Aaron wondered if anyone had plans for after graduation. He was not working, and was already accepted at Columbia in New York for the fall semester. Jim was working two jobs, at the local supermarket (which he hated) and as a wedding photographer (photography was his real passion).

Jim said that he was thinking about quitting the supermarket and going to California to visit his aunt. She had provided financial support for Jim and his brother all through high school, as well as paying most of her sister’s medical bills. It was quickly agreed that the three of them would go to California together, and make a road trip of it, going north up the Pacific coast after staying with Jim’s aunt.

He did not realize until later that night that this trip would allow him to return to the redwoods he dreamed about.

I wanted to do something similar, so I’ve picked out 19 songs that I first heard in 2005. Not all of them were released this year - the track from Hednoize dates back to 2000. I don’t care. This list to me is a list of songs I discovered in 2005, and which I think are good enough to tell people about.

If you know me at all (and you probably don’t), some of these tracks will not be surprising. I can just hear you saying "Ooo! U2, Depeche Mode and Tears For Fears! Could you drag your pasty white ass out of the 80s?!?" Bite me. I like what I like.

I owe my discovery of several tracks here to Music For Robots, probably the best music blog I’ve found. They post new tracks at least once a day, often more. Highly recommended. Where I can I’ve included links to the source album so you can go buy a copy and support the artist.

Andi Teichmann - They Don’t Care It’s so nice to find computer-based music with a soul, not to mention with nice melody and guitar work. From his album Fades.

Apparat Organ Quartet - Romantica Hard to describe.  There are at least four organs playing here, but it’s not what you think. You’ll have to get this as an import. The band has a full length album out but I haven’t been able to find it.

bad loop - eri valeire I seem to be a sucker for music from the North. bad loop is from Finland, and the music is definitely sparse, but I like it. From his album Luo.

beight - Parallels What is it about music from Minneapolis? Bob Mould, The Ocean Blue, to list just a couple. Peter Anderson from The Ocean Blue plays drums for beight, who is Brad Senne. Check out the album: File in Rhythm.

Depeche Mode - John The Revelator My favorite track from Playing The Angel, released in October. "Seven lies, multiplied by seven, multiplied by seven again…"

Garbage - Why Do You Love Me? Another band I had lost track of. I had no idea they were on their fourth album, and they haven’t lost their edge. From the album Bleed Like Me.

Happy Bullets - The Vice and Virtue Ministry Okay, listen to this track first. Done? Now are you shocked to hear this band is from TEXAS?  I was.  To me this is a pure slice of northern English pop.  You can get the whole album here.

Harvey Danger - Moral Centralia Harver Danger - Wine, Women and Song Did you ever wonder what happened to good pop music?  Little By Little has to be my favorite album of the year, and not just because they released it via BitTorrent.  Buy your copy at the band’s website.

Hednoize - Devil’s Train I have no idea how I missed this one, since it’s half of Psykosonik, one of my all-time favorites.  They only released the one album, but you should run out and get it from TVT Records.

Jerry Cantrell - Anger Rising Layne Staley is dead.  But the real songwriter for Alice in Chains was Jerry Cantrell.  This is from his second album, Degradation Trip, released in 2002.  A new album is supposed to be out soon!

LCD Soundsystem - Tribulations (Tiga Mix) I don’t know much about this band, but I really really like this remixed track.  Get their stuff here.

Neil Finn - Driving Me Mad One of my favorite songwriters of all time.  Split Enz and Crowded House never had a bad song as far as I’m concerned.  From One All, released in 2002.  Neil is also working on new music for 2006.

Portastatic - I Wanna Know Girls From the 2005 release Bright Ideas, this is Mac McCaughan of Superchunk.  If you know or like Superchunk you’ll love this.  If you don’t, what on earth is wrong with you?

Sarah McLachlan - Stupid For some reason I put off getting this album for a couple of years.  I don’t know why, because I love all her previous outings.  You can get the album here.  WARNING: Her recent remix album, Bloom, was released by Sony/BMG and is infected with pernicious DRM rootkit spyware.  Buy it from iTunes instead!

Tears For Fears - Call Me Mellow I cannot get get this song out of my head.  It has to be one of the catchiest pop tunes written in years.  Listen to the chorus and tell me you can’t see this being used as the theme for a 1-hour comedy/drama on Fox featuring some plucky female struggling against all odds.  You can listen to the whole album through a Flash interface at the TFF website, or buy it here.

Todd Snider - Doublewide Blues I heard this song on a local radio station, and nearly drove off the road laughing.  Turns out it’s from 1997, and he’s put out several albums since then.  Find him and buy his albums at toddsnider.net.

U2 - Love And Peace Or Else I’m so happy that Bono stopped singing in falsetto, and U2 has got back to writing rock music with a message.  How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb is definitely their best release since Achtung Baby.

VNV Nation - Beloved This has to be the best electronic love song since Alphaville’s "Forever Young".  No slow-dancing to this one!  From their 2002 release, Futureperfect.  Their 2005 album, Matter+Form is also definitely worth a listen.

Her head thrummed with sound as she opened the front door. The technicians had told her this would happen. She had eardrops and a specific range of facial exercises to do. She was fully prepared – this had happened to the other sixteen already – so she had their experiences to draw support from.

Her desk glowed a pale red color. On the surface were several messages, most from her online agents. The urgent message was from Brigitte, 3 cottages to the south.
‘Come see me when you get back.’ - Brigitte

“Call Brigitte,� she instructed. A musical chime, and then a voice: “Brigitte.�
“It’s Katya.�
“Hey, how are the ears?�
“A little loud…�
“They’ll get better soon. Can you come by? I need to talk.â€?
“Sure, love. Let me eat something first and I’ll be right there.�
“See you soon, then.�

Another musical chime and then silence, but not complete silence. The cochlear replacement had greatly increased the amount of sound her ears could bring in. Even though the cottages were specially designed to be quiet, she could hear (and feel) the subtle thrum of electronics in the walls. In the bedroom, a click-click-click broadcasted the blinking LED of her alarm clock.

She walked into the cookspace and selected a protein-rich soup from her approved menu. With a flick of the tab, the container began to warm to the touch. Twenty seconds later, the soup was ready. These packages still amazed her, even though she had been using them for almost a year. Only fifty people knew about or used such technology. All but a few of of them lived within 300 yards from her front door.

Once the soup was gone, she grabbed a bottle of mineral water from the cooler, reset the security program on her desk, and stepped out the door of the cottage. She heard the nearly silent click as the automatic locks engaged. Around her the whole world was full of sounds. The tread of her feet on the pea gravel path was like a pile-driver at a construction site. Bees in the clover seemed to have the volume of a military jet.

Katya decided to make this quick and set off for Brigitte’s cottage at a run. The thump of her feet hitting the ground echoed through her head. Fortunately the pink cottage was only a few hundred yards down one path, through a small water garden and to the right of the greenhouses. As she came to a halt the front door of the cottage opened, and Brigitte stepped out.

It had been widely discussed among the group of women just how much they all resembled a large group of sisters. Katya and Brigitte were nearly the same height, both just over 1.7 meters. They had similar body structure. A stranger would think it likely that one was a ballerina and the other a gymnast, and they would be right. Nearly all of the group had some sort of background in athletics or dance. All of them had short hair, no longer than just below the ears. There were no blondes in the group, just a mix of brown, auburn, brunette and the two redheads. All of them had blue eyes.

Brigitte walked right up to Katya and gave her a kiss on both cheeks. It was a French thing. Brigitte was the only native European in the group, although several others had lived there on and off, and she was thrilled to be the only one with continental manners.

“Congratulations, darling. You’re the last one! I think soon we are ready.�
“Yes, but ready for what?�
“Does it matter? We will all be fabulously wealthy, no matter what happens. Do you think anything would keep Riley from achieving his goal?�
“No, not likely.�
“Come walk with me, Katya. I need to ask you something, and I need to make sure no one else is listening.�
“Why all the secrecy?�
“Just wait until we’re in the greenhouse, and I’ll tell you.�

The greenhouses were buildings that all the women were familiar with. Each of them had spent many hours here planting seeds, watering, transplanting seedlings and moving mature plants outside. In yet another example of symmetry, each of the group had prior experience with plants, gardening or forestry. The greenhouses were a social gathering place, since they all felt comfortable in the muggy warmth amongst the plants.

After sunset in the summer, there were no grow lights on, and the door to greenhouse #3 opened into a dark building. Despite the darkness, Katya could hear the plants moving, hear the chik-chik of predatory wasps devouring aphids, hear the drip-drip-drip of the irrigation. Both women knew their way around from experience. Brigitte led the way down the center of the building until they were directly in front of the ventilation system.

Brigitte reached out and turned the fan control to HIGH. She turned to Katya and whispered “I don’t think any of our ‘sisters’ can hear us over this fan if we stay quiet.�

“What is it?� Katya asked.
“I think I’ve found out what Riley is up to. Or at least part of it.�
“Brigitte, what do you mean?�
“Oh nothing, just a little net research. It’s what I do!�

Brigitte was the daughter of two network engineers. She was born, their only child, during a five year stint working in California for a French-owned telecommunications company. This was back in the late 1990s when the whole world was being interconnected. Brigitte had grown up in a house where every new telecommunications and network device was being beta tested, used, or being thrown out before it had even reached the general public. By the age of 14 she had her own business doing network consulting and information research.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?�
“Naturellement, dear. The network is my life. When I was hired by Riley 6 months before you, I was the second girl he brought here. Of course Natalie and I were both very curious as to what was going on, with so little information. I started doing net searches almost immediately.�
“Brigitte! Riley told us not to ask any questions.�
“But I have not, Katya. No questions at all. Just gathering information. You see, I know who Riley is.�

It would be almost impossible to say when the plan itself took form. It had come into being over several decades. For his first 30 years at least, many parts of the plan were not even possible. The first recollection, the beginning of it all, could be traced back to his childhood.

An only child, born in his parents’ later years, he was spoiled and precocious; reading by the age of three and devouring college-level literature by seven. The summer he turned eight, his parents took him west to Oregon to visit family. His mother’s youngest sister lived in a small town 30 miles from the ocean.

Several days into their visit, both families drove to the beach for a picnic. After eating, the adults settled down in the sun to talk. Most of the children went to play in the small summer waves. Alone even then, he wandered up the beach and across the coastal highway. Exploring as only an eight-year-old can, he found himself in a grove of impossibly huge trees. It took him over a minute just to walk around a single giant in the center of the grove. The air had changed from cool ocean breeze to a damp, almost suffocating mist.

He stood in that grove, transfixed, feeling the mist on his face from above, until it grew dark. In that time, he neither heard the adults calling him nor saw them searching urgently in the forest below him. All he could hear was the whispering sounds of the old forest. The wind in the trees, the scuttle of small creatures living in the thick humus on the ground, the call of birds high in the canopy.

The sun’s final setting rays broke his trance and he realized that he was cold and lost. As he found his way back to the road, his mind kept replaying the view of those giant trees, reaching up so high into the clouds.

The patient, a woman, was not anesthetized in the traditional sense. She was simply unable to feel that her inner ears were slowly being replaced. At the beginning of the surgery, a robot arm equipped with a micro-dermal laser had sliced through her skin right below the ear and blocked the necessary nerves on each side of her head. The technicians had given her the option of watching the procedure, but she had declined and was instead reading a book with the aid of a page-turning assistant.

Several days earlier, the chief technician at the clinic had been asked to meet with an anonymous person who was inquiring about a new cochlear replacement procedure the center had just perfected. This was a somewhat odd request, given the location of the clinic, not to mention that there had been no publicity of the procedure in the medical journals, much less the media.

He had been very surprised at the restaurant when the smooth-skinned man appeared. His skin was not nearly as surprising as his request: the procedure needed to be performed 17 times over the next five days. The patients? All women, all between the ages of 24 and 27.

Dr. Hideo Morotani had performed some unusual services in his 15-year medical career since leaving residency at Stanford, but this one topped all the others, even the Columbian drug lord who had two men flown to the clinic specifically to have their hearing damaged beyond repair.

His new customer had brought a suitcase full of persuasion, and the arrangements were made. Later that afternoon, the first patient arrived at the center in a non-descript gray sedan. Standing in the doorway, the doctor idly wondered if this was a government operation, then terminated that train of thought. The money was good enough that he could retire afterwards, if he wished. At this point it didn’t matter where the money came from.

The patients were all peculiarly similar, as if they had been cloned from a popular sitcom. They each said little, preferring to read at all times unless they had to answer direct questions from technicians or lawyers.

As the last procedure continued, Dr. Morotani entered the viewing room and walked up to his customer. “The patient is doing fine. We should be complete in less than a half hour.�

“Splendid,� the enigmatic man replied. He had yet to give any identifying name. Morotani thought of him as “Mr. Skin.�

“Sir,� the doctor continued, “there is naturally the matter of final payment…�

“The money has been deposited in the accounts that we discussed. You will also find a substantial extra sum in your personal account. Consider it a bonus for a job well done.�

“Thank you, sir. It has been a pleasure to accommodate you, although you must know that I am overwhelmed with curiosity about these patients.�

“I can ensure you, Doctor, that in the coming years you will become very aware of each one. At this point, all I can tell you is that their new ears will be put to some very beneficial uses.�

“How will I become aware of them?� the doctor asked. Mr. Skin turned and looked directly at Dr. Morotani. His hazel eyes seemingly altered themselves to a deep green shade. “Trust me, Doctor. You will not be able to avoid it once things progress to that stage.�

As he looked directly into the face of his benefactor, the doctor experienced a strange chill. How old was this man? He had the serene confidence of someone well into his ninth decade. The strange skin on his face betrayed nothing of his age.

Several silent minutes passed. Through the glass, the robot arms went still and the woman sat up.

“Ah, I see that Katya is ready. Thank you, Doctor, this has been a most pleasant undertaking. Allow me to present you with this token of my gratitude.�

In his left hand was a business card. He gave it to the doctor, who bowed formally and wished his customer a good day. Mr. Skin and Katya walked out of the viewing room and into the fading Nevada sunlight.

Returning to his office, Dr. Morotani examined the card closely. Slightly thicker than a normal card, it displayed a single sentence in elegant script: “These things must endure.� He flipped the card over, but the reverse side was blank. As he turned the card back, the sentence faded from view and was replaced by an animated scene.

The doctor had never seen anything like it. The animation showed an ancient forest of giant trees, thrusting high enough to create their own clouds. Weather systems flowed through the forest and created miniature rain showers. The entire scene seemed never to repeat. As he watched, the seasons changed. Trees grew, some fell. Birds nested in the upper branches. Streams coursed through the forest. Sunlight filtered through the clouds and trees in a varying range of magical color.

Almost an hour later, the doctor managed to lift his gaze from the card. He was crying.